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(Quinn wakes up Clays not in bed)
Quinn: Clay?…Clay! (Walks to kitchen and finds Clay making breakfast)
Clay: Hey you decided to join the land of the living.
Quinn: Yeah you just…you weren’t in bed and I got scared. I thought it happened again.
Clay: Oh…I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just been a rough couple of weeks so I thought I’d surprise you with my famous “Clay’s Deluxe Breakfast in Bed”
Quinn: I didn’t know you had a famous breakfast.
Clay: Yeah it’s not really famous yet…extensive bragging on your end was part of the plan…Hey I even left out the crossword puzzle for you and a chewed up kind of awesome kind of gross pen.
Quinn: You’re kind of awesome and kind of gross (kiss)…way more awesome than gross.
Clay: Get back to bed
Quinn: I’d rather watch you in action.
Jamie: Table one needs an iced mocha and a hot tea, table five toasted bagel and the ACLU wants to know why you’re violating child labor laws.
Haley: Yeah very funny…since when did we start numbering tables?
(Haley see’s new diner across the street)
Haley: No!… (Reading sign)..First gour…our food is gourmet!…right?
Jamie: Ohh Yeah
(Brooke taps a golf ball to one of the twins)
Victoria: Putt putt skills don’t translate out to a real golf course
Brooke: Ohh…whatever im totally bogeying down…Get it?
Victoria: Yeah I get it don’t expect your father to laugh though he takes golf very seriously and you want a birdie more then you want a bogey
Brooke: I know…I just remember when I was a kid daddy spent every weekend playing golf with all those important business people.
Victoria: Don’t remind me. I spent 20 mind numbing years as that mans golf widow
Haley: Chase!…sorry im having a really crappy morning…what can I get you?
Chase: I don’t know. I haven’t eaten in days. I haven’t really slept either.
Haley: I’m really sorry I know you liked her a lot
Chase: Yeah well I’ll be sure to thank Chris Keller next time I see him
Haley: Trust me I know Chris Keller is not good for relationships…and chit chatting on the job is bad for business. You know um…You really should try and eat something. Try not to think about Alex and definitely put the thought of Chris Keller out of your mind.
(Chuck walks in dressed like a mini Chris Keller)
Chuck: Chuck Scolnik is starving!!!
Internship Interviewee 1: Excuse me hi I’m here to interview for the internship
Chris Keller: Wrong office
Interviewee 1: Oh ok sorry
(Looks up from magazine)
Chris Keller: Wait! Wait! Wait! Uh how much does this internship paying
Interviewee 1: Nothing it’s an internship so I work for free
Chris Keller: Wait wait wait sorry sorry uhh let me get this straight you show up looking like that, which is really sexy by the way, and you work for free?
Chris Keller: And what exactly do you do?
Interviewee 1: Whatever they tell me to do
Chris Keller: Really…. (Cue devious grin)
Chris Keller: So tell me why you want to work at red bedroom records
Interviewee 2: I’m a big fan of hip hop
Chris Keller: Fantastic! We do hip hop.
Interviewee 3: I’m really into techno deep house
Chris Keller: I love the deep house
Interviewee 4: Well I love country music
Chris Keller: Yeah we don’t do country music here
Interviewee 4: But… Alex Dupre
Chris Keller: Yeah that was…that was…Let me give you a parting gift… (Signs picture of himself)…there you go..You’re welcome
Interviewee 5: I’m sorry I was under the impression I was interviewing for an internship but the post said to bring a bikini
Chris Keller: Yeah occasionally we do our own video shoots…we might need you as an extra. Did you bring the bikini?
Interviewee 5: No but I have a bra on will that work?
Chris Keller: That will do just fine
Interviewee s 6 and 7: To be honest we don’t even like music…we hate it
Chris Keller: That’s fine when you guys can start
Interviewee s 6 and 7: I guess now if you want
Chris Keller: Perfect
Interviewee s 6 and 7: What do you want us to do?
Chris Keller: I don’t know bend…stretch…just sit here and look pretty…I’m gonna grab some breakfast
Interviewee s 6 and 7: Should I answer the phone
Chris Keller: Ohhh!! Answer the phone…good call!!!
(Quinn talks to Haley after listening to the pharmacy say Clay’s prescription was ready and Clay says he picked it up and has been taking it)
Quinn: Haley he basically lied to my face…he agreed the prescription was working but he never even picked it up!
Haley: That just sounds like a misunderstanding. There’s got to be a good explanation
Chris: Or maybe he’s cheating on you. What! Im just saying if I had a dime for every time I woke up on a mary-go-round or in a park I’d be rich. Do you know what I was doing every time right before I woke up in those places? Some random chick!
Chris (To Quinn): I don’t think we’ve met…Chris Keller
Quinn: Chris Keller…Quinn James
Chris: Well, well Haley’s sister well its always been a fantasy
Haley: Don’t shake his hand you don’t know where its been
Chris: Come on we know where this hand has been…but what we don’t know is what your boyfriends been up to
Haley: Quinn listen to me you know that Clay loves you
Chris (interrupting): You should GPS his phone…find out exactly where he’s been sneaking off to…that’s what Chris Keller would do. If you need a shoulder to cry on or whatever just some revenge sex…I’m your guy
Haley: Oh thank god you’re here our chef just quit well he got poached actually and I really need you to grab an apron!
Brooke: I can’t I have a golf date with my dad I just came to get a muffin and a coffee…I’m carbo-loading
Haley: We are swamped
Brooke: Ok I can help
Haley: That means a lot thank you
Brooke: Sure…I can make my own coffee (looks at industrial coffee machine)…who are we kidding? I still don’t know how to use that thing…would you mind…please!…you’re so good at it!
(Chuck leaves Chase to sit with Chris)
Chris: Well, well
Chase: I told you not to tell Alex her music was crap
Chase: So you send her on tour instead? What’s your problem man? You know what it doesn’t even matter your just a (realizes Chuck is listening)…not very nice person!
Chuck: Contrary to popular opinion. He doesn’t speak for the both of us.
Chris: You got a good look kid. I bet the honeys love you
(Julian quotes an entire scene from The Goonies in the empty movie lot and realizes Jamie’s class is watching)
Ms. Lauren: Hey Julian…The field trip was scheduled for today right?
Chuck: Hi Julia! Ha ha
Chris: Who do I need to screw to get a burger around here? (sees Haley)…Please let it be you.
Haley: You ordered a burger?
Chris: No originally I ordered a breakfast burrito
Haley: We don’t serve those after eleven
Chris: You did an hour ago when I ordered it but seeing as its lunch time you can get me a burger (touching Haley’s hand)
Haley (Grabs Chris’ hand): Come with me!
Chris: Lunchtime quickie nice!!!…Hey a few more minutes on your burgers folks….like seven minutes
Haley: Put this on…you can cook right?
Chris: Chris Keller can do it all baby
(Proceeds to set pan on fire and scream like a five year old girl)
Mouth: You know s it just me or are shirts being cut smaller these days
Millie: It’s called slim fit. People like their shirts tailored
Mouth: Well slim fit or not my dry cleaner keeps shrinking my shirts. They have one job to do and that’s clean my shirts not clean them and then shrink them. If I wanted to shrink them I’d have Millie wash them
Millie: I don’t think you should go there
Mouth: Im just saying of your many talents laundry is definitely not one of them…You’ve been shrinking my shirts haven’t you? You know it’s ok; you’ll feel better when you admit it go ahead
Millie: No Marvin! Nobody been shrunk your shirts! Nobody added steps to the stairwell at home, and I AM CERTAIN that nobody made the buttons on your cell phone smaller!…Marvin your FAT!…FAT! FAT! FAT!
Mouth: That was totally uncalled for! Especially coming from the Zero is Not a Size model!
Millie: Well it’s not a shape either! Unless you’re a doughnut
Mouth: Where is this coming from?
Millie: From your waistline mostly! And a little from your ass!
Chuck: My dad says they only make moves in Los Angeles and New York anyways
Julian: Well its guys like your dad who are killing my business
Julian: Ok…fine…fine truth is kids I spend most of my time calling people who hang up on me talking to assistants who won’t even put me through to their bosses, just trying to find someone anyone to fill up this stage so I don’t have to find a second job or sell one of my kids on the black market!
Ms. Lauren: Ok who wants to go see the box factory next door! They sell boxes!
Chuck: I wanted to see the dragon eat the princess
Chris: Complements the chef!…seriously this is delicious!
Haley: Thank you…If you’re out here then who’s … (Walks to kitchen)…Dan?
Dan: You look like you need a little help. Unless you’d rather I go
Haley: I need a tuna melt on rye
Julian: Hey you didn’t want to go to the box factory?
Jamie: Nah we were there last week. You know dad and Clay had a hard time with their agency at first
Julian: Yeah I’m starting to think this is just one big bad idea
Jamie: Come on your like the farmer guy in the middle of nowhere who decided to build a baseball field in his back yard everyone told him he was crazy but you know what he built it anyway all because he heard a voice that said “If you build it he will come”…and you know what? He came! In fact lots of people came.
Julian: That’s a pretty good story Jamie. Guess I just need to have a little faith huh?
Jamie: Well the thing is that’s actually a movie…you should probably know that if you wanna make it in show business
(Brooke walks into house)
Victoria: Well that was quick
Brooke: Im seriously not in the mood Victoria
Victoria: Let me guess he got some bimbo to impress some horny investors
(Brooke points at herself)
Brooke: Thanks mom. Where are the boys?
Victoria: They’re sleeping. I took Jude’s temperature twice and he doesn’t have a fever but he has a runny nose
Brooke: You know I just wanted to spend the day with him and somehow even that was too much to ask.
Victoria: Is this where I give you my sad face?
Brooke: Oh please we both know you botoxed away all remnants of human emotion
Victoria: Don’t you take this out on me. I tried to show you who your father really is and if he’d been around more this would not be a surprise.
Brooke: Point taken. I don’t know I guess I just hoped…
Victoria: What? That he could change?
Brooke: You did.
Victoria: Honey that is who the man is…ok…despite all of his promises he has never changed and he will never change. I guess we should give him credit for being consistent. I have to go.
Brooke: You’re leaving?
Victoria: Back to New York
Brooke: But…but why?
Victoria: Well I can only take this town in small doses and as much as I’m going to miss the twins you have your father and your new business venture…and there’s nothing left for me to do.
(Julian’s dancing around the movie lot and the phone rings)
Julian: Don’t hang up! Don’t hang up! This is Julian Baker
David Taylor: Hi Julian David Taylor. Im calling because it’s my understanding that you may have some stage space available
Julian: Yes that’s true…I mean not might… I do its available
David Taylor: We just received a late pick up for our television series and are interested in shooting in Tree Hill
Julian: Well we can definitely accommodate a TV show here… I mean in fact it’s actually the perfect spot for a TV production
David Taylor: Well good I hope so…how soon can we see the space
Julian: Uh let me see if I can move some things around (looks at empty calendar) uh yeah I can try and clear my schedule for the end of the day if that works for you
David Taylor: Perfect…we’ll arrange for a stop over this afternoon
Julian: That sounds good…great…this afternoon…see you then (Jumps on top of desk) YES! YES!
Chase (singing/drinking): Chris Keller you sing so bad its funny! Chris Keller you write jingles for money!
Chris: Hey like I told you girlfriend…oh sorry ex-girlfriend…that song pays my rent…that’s a lot more than a bartender makes
Chase: Bar MANAGER!!!
Chris: Look man I know you’re pissed at me but you don’t even know me. Im not a bad guy maybe if you stopped blaming me for getting dumped you’d see that
Chase: How about I pretend to take your word for it and not get to know you
Chris: Well…your loss. Chris Keller knows some real nice girls that just might cure what ails ya’
(Chris takes Chase to strip bar)
MC: You know her from Seven Dreams from Tuesday…Please welcome to the stage…Alex Do Me!
Chris: Alex Do Me!…That awesome! ….Alex Do Me!
Jamie: Hi mom!
Haley: Hi honey!
Jamie: Grandpa Dan!!! What are you doing here?
Dan: Just helping your mom out…you wanna join?
Customer: Excuse me is that Dan Scott
Customer: How could you allow that man to work for you to be around your children?
Haley: Excuse me?
Customer: He’s a murderer!
Haley: I really don’t think that’s any of your business
Another Customer: Oh yes it is! Especially if he’s cooking our food
Dan: Haley it ok…I’ll leave…I’ll see you back at the house
Haley: No…you should stay. If anyone here has a problem with this man cooking your food you’re welcome to go someplace else.
Customer: Well we will
Haley: Alright then your food is on the house today…Now get out!
Chris: I asked her to move in I was so romantic and then just out of the blue she just leaves me…for her music
Stripper: Aww baby…Im so sorry that’s terrible!
MC: Next up on the main stage the Pony Express!
Stripper: Well sweet cheeks that’s my cue this ones on the house
Chris: Thank you Pony!
Chase: You used my pain for a free lap dance
Chris: Come on man it’s a good story. You’re not using it.
Chase: Im glad you’re enjoying yourself Im outta here
Chris: No no no ok ok look look…I won’t use your sad sack story to pick up strippers ok…Look you haven’t asked my opinion and all BS aside; she would have left you sooner or later
Chase: You don’t know that…you don’t even know Alex
Chris: Actually I do and trust me it’s in her DNA, Alex is an artist, some of us need constant validation and appreciation
Chase: I gave her validation and appreciation all the time… 24/7
Chris: See! And she still left that’s my point! No one person or town can fill the void. That girl is NEVER gonna settle down…trust me
Chase: Like I said you don’t know her
Chris: I knew she’d take that tour
Dan: Haley I just wanna say thanks
Haley: Yeah well she was wrong you know you shouldn’t have had to deal with that
Dan: I did the crime
Haley: Doesn’t mean you have to get hammered for it all the time
Brooke: Hi…what are you doing here?
Ted: Good news should never be shared over the phone…Baker Man officially has funding…actually full financial backing
Brooke: But they haven’t seen a single design
Ted: Doesn’t matter they want to work with the designer
Brooke: That’s great
Ted: Well you don’t seem very happy about it
Brooke: No dad I’m thrilled that they want to invest in the line….thank you
Ted: But you’re upset with me
Brooke: Well…I never get to see you and I showed up today thinking that you and I were going to spend a day on the golf course…Just the two of us
Ted: That would have been nice
Brooke: But do you mean that?
Ted: Of course I do…I would love to spend time with you and my two handsome grandsons and we will I promise. I’ll be back in town more often now thanks to Baker Man. But honey you came to me with a business proposal
Brooke: I know that
Ted: And with opportunities like this you need to strike while the iron is hot…that’s what we did today, because of that we’ll have our day on the golf course…just the two of us. For now I have a flight to catch back to LA and you have a clothing line to design. You handled yourself like a total pro today. Im so proud of you.
Julian: Excuse me I’m looking for a nice scotch. I want something aged like twelve, fifteen years.
Liquor Store Clerk: Any particular brand?
Julian: Red label, blue label, black label…I don’t know…what happed to six pack versus keg?
Clay: Hey…what’s wrong?
Quinn: I saw you.
Clay: Saw what? What’s the matter?
Quinn: I saw you buying drugs Clay, you’ve been lying to me this entire time
Clay: Lying to you? Quinn what are you talking about, I didn’t buy any drugs.
Quinn: Don’t lie to my anymore! I was there!
Clay: Maybe you saw something but it wasn’t me.
Quinn: There are pictures. I took pictures with my camera
Clay: This is crazy…your acting crazy you realize that right?…What’s wrong with you
Quinn: What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you Clay? No wonder you didn’t need to pick up your prescription, because you’re not sick! You had other pills to pick up!
Clay: It’s not like it’s a problem.
Quinn: You fooled me! , you fooled me into feeling sorry for you and I stayed awake worried sick about you! How could you!
Clay: Quinn wait! Quinn!
Mouth: This guy says he’s faced this kind of discrimination his whole life and watching me endure it literally hurt his heart.
Millie: Yeah… I’m sure it has nothing to do with the carton of Twinkies he eats everyday…Fine I was unprofessional and rude and for that I apologize
Mouth: Now was that so hard? Thank you
Millie: Marvin I am not finished. What you need to understand is that it came from a place of love, I am genuinely concerned for your health, and I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings but I am not going to sit here and watch you eat yourself to death.
Chase: I went to the ATM to get money for a taxi and I found this…It’s her room key…she lived in a hotel…I should have known better.
Chris: Who lives in hotels? People whose stay is temporary. You never had a chance my friend… (To bartender) two more! …it had nothing to do with you though
Chase: Just so you know I still don’t like you
Chris: I’ll drink to that.
Clay (To Quinn): When I was recovering from the shooting I was taking those pills for the pain and the prescription ran out…I am so sorry…I was just so embarrassed about it…and im sorry
Haley: Thanks again Dan I really don’t think I could have made it through today without you
Dan: I’m sure you would have found a way…Besides I enjoyed it…If you want me to come in tomorrow it’s really no trouble
Haley: No I don’t think that’s such a good idea…Dan it’s not because of that lady or any of the other customers it’s just…This is Karen’s Café.
Julian: Hey baby
Brooke: Hey is everything ok
Julian: Yeah why?
Brooke: Well the daycare called and said you never dropped Davis off.