Brooke: “Who was your best friend growing up?”
Sylvia: “I was! Isn’t that right JuJu-Bee?”
Julian: “10-4 Big Momma!”
Brooke: “Over and out, Momma’s Boy.”
Haley: (looking through potential artists) “Oh… KnucklePuss. Add that to the Pre-Hate pile.”
Mia: “You know as well as I do that artists love to hear how great they are.”
Haley: “That’s true… I think you’re great!”
Mia: “You’re so awesome!”
Clay: “Quinn’s out of town, man. What’d you expect?”
Nathan: “Literally anything else.”
Clay: “It’s still a little hard to move my right arm. So, that and the fact that Quinn’s out of town is really killing my sex life.”
Nathan: “Well, that’s why I learned how to dribble with both hands.”
Mouth: (screams)
Skills: “Aw, quiet, Mouth! Lucas had a rough night.”
Julian: “I was just gonna hang with the guys today.”
Alex: (laughs) “Yeah, right. In your dreams, buddy.”
Alex: “What do you want from me? I didn’t come to town to be filmed for your perv collection.”
Sylvia: “Quinn who?”
Brooke: “Quinn James.”
Sylvia: “I’ve never heard of it.”
Skills: “I was kinda hoping Millie would be here right now, because Lucas wanted a three way.”
Alex: “Excuse me, bar manager. When you’re done helping that little boy, can I get a drink?”
Sylvia: “My son and beautiful daughter-in-law will not be married in a tent like circus folk. You can’t control Mother Nature.”
Brooke: “Or Mother Baker.”
Sylvia: “I guess you could always hang salami.”
Brooke: “That’s what he said. Wait, what?”
Mia: “You should never listen to a musician for help in a crisis. We’re usually the ones in a crisis.”
Haley: “I’m a musician, too.”
Mia: “Probably part of the problem.”
Sylvia: “Sexy? Bridesmaid? Those two don’t go together. The whole point is for them to look ugly so that you look pretty!”
Brooke: “Ugly bridesmaid dresses make me sad. They get one night out where they just get made fun of, and then it’s off to the back of the closet where they emerge as a bad joke on Halloween.”
Alex: “Guys aren’t that hard to figure out, Julian. They like sex and poker. I’d go with sex, but I’d suggest you go with poker.”
Nathan: “I haven’t felt that stupid since high school, and at least then I could beat somebody up to feel better.”
Nathan: “I guess we’re both a couple of screw-ups then.”
Haley: “Always and forever.”
Brooke:”Get your prego ass to the wedding expo, pronto!”
Haley: “Hi, Brooke. Love you too.”
Haley: “Well, I have another crisis to deal with and if it’s anything like this morning, Brooke’s gonna cancel the wedding before tonight.”
Nathan: “Sweet. I’m gonna go gamble all our money away in a poker game.”
Haley: “Rad. Screw-Up superpowers activate!”
Julian: “Hey! Clay! It’s J, uh, J-man.”
Clay: “J. What’s up little man? I heard you found a frog.”
Alex: “Okay, take it easy, Sensitive Julian.”
Brooke: “Hey! What a random and total coincidence! My best friend Haley is here… unexpectedly!”
Chase: “So, you’re following up your successful Indie with a documentary about Mouth??”
Sylvia: “Regardless, you are going to have a pick a caterer at some point, unless your friend Quint can cook, too.”
Alex: (gesturing towards Junk) “You act like I’d sleep with anyone.”
Junk: “Hey!”
Alex: “No offense, Fergie.”
Junk: “I’m Junk!”
Nathan: “If I wanted to look stupid, I would have stayed home and played Trivial Pursuit against Haley.”
Julian: “I always hated escalators. When I was a little kid I thought the teeth at the bottom were gonna eat my feet.”
Brooke: “Unless you want your baby to be born with a dent in its head the size of my fist, you had better start agreeing with me!”
Haley: “Hear that baby? That’s Auntie Brooke’s way of saying she can’t wait to meet you.”
Sylvia: “What kind of wedding doesn’t have a champagne fountain?”
Brooke: “Mine.”
Haley: “Mine either. I wish it did though. I do. Brooke, come on! This is so cool. It’s like a fountain of happiness!”
Brooke: “I wanna show Haley something.”
Haley: “What do you wanna show me?”
Brooke: “The exit.”
Haley: “Why?!”
Brooke: “I love you, but your hormones are not helping me right now.”
Clay: “What is it you’re so skilled at?”
Skills: “Everything.”
Mouth: “When we were kids, I used to do commentary for games at the river court. Then one day, Nathan came up to me, said I had a big mouth, and punched me in it. After that, it kinda stuck.”
Alex: (about Clean Teens) “I think it’s sweet. We didn’t have anything like that at my high school.”
Chase: “Of course not. You went there.”
Brooke: “Excuse me. Have you seen a middle aged woman with short hair running around like she’s the bride?”
Woman: “You just described every mom here.”
Alex: “I’m a great actress.”
Julian: “Yes, you are. But you’re an even better person.”
Alex: “I forgot that guys hate to lose money more than they like sex and poker.”
Sylvia: “Thank you for loving my Julian.”
Brooke: “He makes it easy.”
Erin: “Nice studio. I was kind of expecting a bedroom.”
Julian: “Guys are mean. I missed being in the Brooke bubble.”
Brooke: “Well, yeah. ‘Cause it’s the best place ever.”
Brooke: “Why is there salami hanging from the lamp?”
Julian: “I saw a bee!”
Nathan: “I guess neither of us are screw-ups after all.”
Haley: “I guess not… You picked up Jamie from Chuck’s house, right?”
Nathan: “I thought you did.”
Both: “Screw-ups!”
Thanks Ryan!
